Oranges
by ThatGreyPenguin
Summary: Shepard comes home to something that will change his life forever.


Oranges

It was when Shepard parked his car on the road the he knew something would be wrong when he entered the house. Something would be changed forever. There was an eerie feeling in the air, as if he dreaded something he didn't know existed. Of course, he just brushed it off as random nerves and smiled. _Tomorrow,_ he thought. _Tomorrow, I'm getting married. _

He stepped out of the car and grabbed bags of groceries out of the back. A single orange slipped out of one of the grocery bags, but before he could catch it, it rolled into the street and was crushed by a bus. He shrugged and walked toward his front door.

He knocked on the door, waiting for his fiancée to open the front door smiling, wrapping his arms around Shepard's waist and laughing, excitedly telling a story of something that happened to some celebrity or one of his relatives. Instead, he only got a closed door. All he could hear was the sound of traffic. He leaned his ear toward the door and still heard nothing. He looked down at his watch and saw that it was 5:42 P.M. Kaidan should be home. He is always home by 4:30. _Maybe he's in the bathroom, _Shepard thought.

He reached into his pocket and grabbed his ring of keys, cycling through them to find the key to their house. It was a small house, one story, with 2 bathrooms, a bedroom, a guest room, a room they used as an office, a kitchen, and a small living room. They had enough money to buy a larger house by far, but they had both agreed that a small house would be cozier. They were still able to have friends over from their time in the Alliance, but it was rarer these days. Everyone was off living their own lives, and Shepard and Kaidan were content with that. They had each other after all.

Shepard managed to find the right key, and unlocked the door. He stepped in and saw that the lights were off. _That's odd_, Shepard thought, his mind questioning the odd surroundings. He reached for the light switch and turned it upwards. Light immediately lit up the living room and the hallway towards the bedrooms and office. He set his grocery bags down at the kitchen table, except for a small bag of three oranges. Kaidan always liked having oranges while he read, so Shepard had made a habit of keeping them in a bowl next to their bed.

He still hadn't heard any noise from inside the house. "Kaidan?" He called, his voice hesitant. He opened the door to the bedroom, and was even more curious when he noticed that the bed was made, and was oddly free of Kaidan. He opened the door to the bathroom that was connected to their bedroom, and observed that it was also oddly empty.

He carried the oranges with him for some odd reason, maybe to assure to himself that he was awake, and that nothing from a nightmare would jump out at him. Shepard made his way to the guest bedroom and peaked his head in. _Nothing, _Shepard noted. He crossed the hall to the guest bathroom, creaking the door open. There was nothing inside of there either. He was almost sure that Kaidan was not in the house at the moment.

_Perhaps he went on walk?_ It wouldn't be odd for him to do so. Kaidan enjoyed walking more than most people. He would often grab Shepard by the hand and sprint down dirt pathways, laughing and mocking Shepard for being too slow.

Shepard was sure this was the case, but wanted to check the office before he made any assumptions. He walked to the office door, and noticed an envelope with his name on it. He grabbed the envelope, and opened it. Inside was a letter.

"_Shepard, welcome home. Did you get oranges? You always get oranges. Why am I even asking? You probably are wondering why I'm leaving you this note, and why I wasn't there to greet you at the door like I usually do. I'm sorry I wasn't there to grab you and hold you, to embrace you and laugh with you. I've been thinking about our wedding day a lot Shepard. I'm happy that you have been there for me, at every time I needed someone. Shepard, I love you so much I don't even know how to handle it. It started off as a small flame, and burst into a rapid fire. I was – no, I am, happy that we were engaged, but I can't marry you tomorrow, in front of all of those people. I'm sorry, but…well…Do you remember when I told you about Rahna? Remember how I told you that I scared her off, even though I was just trying to protect her? What if that happens to you? What if I scare you and you leave me? I'm so scared Shepard. I'm sorry that it ended this way Shepard. I'm sorry for what you find this door. I want you to know, before you open this door, that I will and have always loved you, and that this decision was my best way to preserve our love. I love you Shepard. With all of my heart."_

Signed, _Kaidan Alenko._

At this, Shepard, tears streaming down his face, reached for the doorknob, dreading for what he knew would be behind the door. The oranges crashed to the floor. He was sobbing now, unable to see. He felt a strong arm reach around his body. A raspy, panicked voice talking fast in his ear.

"Shepard, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. Shepard. Shepard, look at me. Calm down. Look in my eyes."

Shepard looked up, into the chocolate brown eyes of his fiancée. Shepard's eyes widened, and he looked at Kaidan with shock. Kaidan was crying, and was holding Shepard closer than ever.

"Shepard, I know that the note sounded like I was going to kill myself, but that's not what I meant by it. I meant that I wanted to kill the part of me that was scared about losing you because of my actions. When I said I couldn't marry you tomorrow, it's because I was about to ask you to marry me right now, when you opened the door. I was hoping for a really romantic and heartfelt moment. I didn't think I would upset you this much. I'm so fucking sorry. I should go. I should go and not come back. I'm sorry Shepard. I'm so fucking sorry."

Kaidan turned to walk out the door, but Shepard grabbed his arm, pulled Kaidan towards himself, and kissed him. He broke the kiss and with tears streaming down his face, falling past his now slight smile, said, "I would love to marry you right now Kaidan."


End file.
